Made in the 70s

We've moved!

2009-08-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

Finally! You can get new memories of the 70s from our new upgraded site:

Made in The 70s.com

You can also follow me at Twitter.com/madein71.

We won't be making any new updates to this Blogger page, but comments to this site should transfer across, and all old posts and comments are now available in our new look Made In The 70s site.

Looking forward to seeing you all there.

Ridley.

The Liver Birds: A 70s Conundrum

2009-02-15T13:04:00.001-08:00

For FaceBook Notes: Here is the URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_FB2vHj8BY

Everyone who grew in the UK in the 70s wants to remember Twiglets, Abba and Hovis Commercials. However, despite its surprisingly ground-breaking social commentary, no one really wants to remember The Liver Birds. Set in Liverpool, The Liver Birds (pronounced "Lie-veh"), which is what all Liverpudlian girls were known as back the day, was a sitcom, set almost entirely indoors in a flat shared by two young women who not only worked, but dated, fought with their parents, and struggled to stay afloat in what was ostensibly still a neanderthal man's world. While not exactly Laverne and Shirley, the show began in 1969 and ran until 1979, with an unsuccessful revival in 1996.

It began with Dawn (Pauline Collins) and Beryl (Polly James) and ran for 5 episodes, but came back in 1970 with Sandra (Nerys Hughes) taking over for Dawn. The Sandra and Beryl days were definitely the heyday for The Liver Birds (and it's Sandra and Beryl you can see in the clip above), though I'm more familiar with later series when Carol, played by Elizabeth Estensen, took over the flat from Beryl.

As a childhood memory, The Liver Birds has all but gone. Nothing more than a group of high-pitched annoying voices and that theme song, penned by Paul McCartney's brother, that just burrows into your brain and eats away you from the inside like something from a bad Star Trek episode. Prior to starting this blog, I'd have said the best thing to come out of The Liver Birds was the Half-Man, Half Biscuit song, I Hate Nerys Hughes.

Looking back on it properly, now, though, the show was actually quite revolutionary. Showing life outside of London, with two independent women (notice in this clip Beryl is only 19 years old) negotiating life on their own in a way women hadn't really done since World War 2. They find their own way though the world of work, romance and family strife with a sense of grit and determination. They aren't tarts, or even really "Dolly Birds", though they have been described that way in many of the other entries I've seen. They paved the way for the women of the 80s and onwards, showing that men weren't necessary for survival. In fact, many of the men who appear in the show are lazy, useless, or socially awkward, especially Carol's brother, who became a show regular in later years and was obsessed with his pet rabbits.

So, try to put aside the horrible sets and lighting, and the theme tune, and some interesting opinions on Chinese food, and let the upbeat quirkiness of The Liver Birds transport you back to a time when no one would look twice at a multi-colored crotchet gilet, or an overabundance of orange floral wallpaper.

Blagged from Slashfilm: Steve Oedekerk to Write Stretch Armstrong Movie | /Film

2009-02-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

Worst Idea Ever: Steve Oedekerk to Write Stretch Armstrong Movie | /Film

Every once in a while a new product comes along that makes you wonder, what do they expect me to do with that? Stretch Armstrong was such a product. You could pull at him every which way but loose, and his rubbery memory plastic body would slowly morph back into shape. But seriously, what kind of toy is that? It's basically a humanoid rubber band! It didn't even stick to anything!

Well, thanks to a deal with Hasbro, that threatens to bring us a Ridley Scott produced Monopoly movie, Universal has hired the writer of Bruce and Evan Almighty to bring us a Stretch Armstrong movie. Now, unlike the writer in the blog I'm lifting all this information from, I'm not going to be too dismissive about this premise. It surely can't be any worse than Paul Blart: Mall Cop, or The Pink Panther 2. And hey, maybe the toy itself will make a comeback, and a new generation will discover how utterly useless Mr Armstrong really is...

Weekly WTF

2009-02-12T10:21:00.001-08:00

Believe it or not, this actually the opening 8 minutes to a 1975 children's TV show from the UK called Sky. We've spoken many times before about how children's TV executives back then were definitely dropping acid, but this one looks like the result of a seriously bad trip. You know the ones... Where demons appear in front of you, naked and snarling, and although their heads are upright, their bodies, instead of standing on the floor, disappear upwards into the clouds, which are crimson, and rain blood and Hersheys chocolate syrup down on you, and all you can do to make them leave is to climb a tree and cry and cry and cry.

Ahem. So, yes. Sky. He's a mostly naked albino alien child and he's hiding in the leaves in a forest near you. The obvious thing to do would be to take him into your house and make him your friend, yes?

10 Great 70s Games

2009-02-09T16:26:00.000-08:00

Usual Made in the 70s rules apply here, folks. This is not a Top Ten List, but a generic list of fun things that affected our collective childhoods. There's plenty more where this came from, and we'd love to hear from you about toys you wish were on this list.

10. Downfall

Ah... Downfall... I have 5 red discs, you have five yellow discs, and I must, by turning the cogs on my side of the wall alone, move all of mine down to the tray at the bottom before you do. But here's the catch, see! Both sides have the same cogs, but the little slots that the discs fit into are in different places, so you never know if by lining up your slots from one cog to another, you're actually helping the other player! Genius!

Well, maybe not genius, but it was pretty good solid fun. You could even make it even more challenging. Each disc was numbered 1 through 5, try to bring your discs down to the tray in order, and if you failed, you'd have to place your out of order pieces back in the hopper again. A task so Herculean in difficulty, you'd need the strategic mind of Anatoly Karpov to achieve it.

9. Master Mind

Speaking of games of genius. I was given this at the age of 6. To this day, I have no frigging idea what the game was supposed to be. You had these colored pegs, and they had some colored pegs, and they had to guess your code based on the colored pegs you have or the other way around, and then if you got it wrong you could place either a black thin peg next to that row or a white one and... I think I just turned it into a complicated cribbage board. No wonder I'm still crap at maths. Wikipedia has the rules all written out, but I still can't get my mind around the damn thing. Anyway, on to simpler things for simpler minds...

8. Tin Can Alley

Yee-haw! That's better! This one was advertised by real TV cowboy Chuck Connors. You got a plastic fence top painted to look like wood. On top of that fence you placed five fake Dr. Pepper cans, painted to look like real Dr. Pepper cans. Then you got a cowboy rifle that did that snik-snak! thing with the lever-action, which was really cool, because that's what they carried in Bonanza and High Chapparal re-runs, and you were good to go! The only thing it didn't have were bullets.

I guess that was the beginning of the end for fun toys, really, as someone thought it would be cool to replace a real BB gun plinking cans off a fence, with one that fired child-eye-friendly infra-red light at holes just under each can, which would then fire a spring-action lever that flicked the can off the wall. They got rid of these in the 80s, as dads across teh country got pissed off you accidentally changing the channel on the TV every time you missed.

7. Crossfire

Thanks to the popularity of Tin Can Alley, Ball Bearing manufacturers were understandably quite pissed at the toy gun industry. How can they sell little metal balls to children if they won't let them buy BB guns? Enter Crossfire, a small plastic box with a cardboard base and two 'goals' in end corners. You placed a BB with tire around it in the middle, filled up a mini gun attached to the box with smaller BBs designed to exact standards of what is now today know as 'choking hazard', and shot the small ones at the big one with the tire to try to get it into the opponent's goal. The opponent, using the same technique, did the same. Imagine Air Hockey, but instead of using those paddles and your hands, you've got Uzis. A fine, fine, manic game, until all the little BBs got lost under a sofa, or your cat dies from eating the big one.

6. Ricochet Racers

"What do boys like, Kowalksi?"

"Well, sir, boys like guns."

"Good, good. What else, Kowalski?"

"Boys like... cars, sir."

"So, Kowalski. Based on these two factors... What do you think should be our next line of toys for boys, Kowalski?"

"Uh... A gun that fires cars, sir?"

"More...?"

"A... Gun that fires glow in the dark cars across the floor, but with a minor adjustment to the safety system can be made to be fired in the air at objects such as, say, cats, sir?"

And that's how Ricochet Racers was born.

5. Rock Em Sock Em Robots

Should be filed under simple toys. Rock 'Em Sock 'Em's premise was easy. Each side had buttons and corresponding robot. You press the button, the robot punches the other robot. You hit the other robot in the right place under the chin, that robot's head pops up, you win the fight. Why did this keep us occupied for such a long time? It had no right to!

4. Mouse Trap

Actually, I'm lying. This game was crap. The commercial, however, made it look like a wicked game to play. Basically, you went around the board, putting together a convoluted mouse trap in about 2 hours that took about 6 seconds to demolish itself, and 99% of the time it didn't catch the plastic mouse. Heck, it wasn't even any good at catching real mice. Heck it wasn't even any good at catching computer mice! And those didn't even move.

3. Buckaroo!

Buckaroo was a spring-loaded 2D plastic mule with a hair trigger, designed to flick little plastic items like ropes, pick-axes, etc., under your sofa.

2. TCR Total Control Racing

Unlike slot-racers like Scalextric, TCR cars could actually change lanes. It was the epitome of cool track racing. You had two cars controlled by the human players, and a third 'jam' car, which was designed to get in your way and slow you down. But, unlike Scalextric, you could actually pass the jam car if it was in your lane. And you could do bridge jumps, which was teh awesome.

1. Binatone TV Master

Hey, it doesn't look like much, but it's got it where it counts, kid. Many toys claim to be the birth of console gaming, but the Binatone TV Master totally takes that title. It came with 6 games. Four of which were variations on Pong, the other two involved a light gun which looked just like a blaster from Star Wars, so you know that was getting tucked in our belts and being taken outside for playing Han Solo straight away. The great thing about it, was that plugged straight into your TV aerial socket, and the menu was on the machine itself. So you clicked a switch down to change games, and there were switches and buttons for everything else. Without this, Atari VCS, Colecovision and Intellivision would have been alien objects to our generation and we would never have mastered their strange, joysticky ways.

"And I must 'fess that I helped the industry out by getting my kit off in films like Vampire Lovers (1970) and The Wicker Man (1973)."

2009-01-13T10:28:00.000-08:00

Hammer Studios' Scream Queen has written a groovy little retrospective column on 1970's cinema. It doesn't go fully in-depth into it, but it's a nice walk down Memory Lane, nonetheless.

You can find here, on the Den Of Geek blog. Enjoy!

What Were They Thinking Tuesday: Ball Buster

2008-12-16T14:32:00.001-08:00

Honestly, what the hell were they thinking? This could go under the Simple 70s Games tag, as it's about as simple as it gets, you have a bunch of balls on sticks, and move them around the board and try to hit as many opponents balls as possible.

But to be serious, we can't tag it that way. It's a full-on question mark of a game made entirely out of what-the-effery, designed to be useless within five days of play as balls fly off the sticks and get lost in the gap in the sofa. If you enjoyed playing this as a kid, I doff my cap to you, but there was no way it could keep me entertained for more than a rainy afternoon.

You're better off with Ker-Plunk.

Saturday Night Fever

2008-12-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's Saturday night, which means here on Made In The 70s we're getting our disco on. Every Saturday night we'll feature one or two forgotten dancefloor classics. This week, it's Patrick Hernandez and Boney M.

Patrick Hernandez: Born To Be Alive

Boney M: Ma Baker

70s List Friday: Ten Songs That Should Never Have Been Released

2008-12-04T20:33:00.001-08:00

This is by no means a list of 70s songs that suck, or even a "Worst Songs Of the 70s" list, simply a list of songs that we wish no one had released for some reason or another. Usually it's because it has turned us against something that we would otherwise have liked, or simply scarred our childhood so much, we either remember exactly where we were when we first heard it, or we've erased the incident completely from our memory with nothing but scotch and drugs. So, starting at 10, here's your Pick Of The Pops countdown...

10. Judy Collins: Send In the Clowns

That's right, we're going there. To be perfectly honest, this is a really great song that no one under Heaven has yet been able to do justice. Ethel Merman's version can restart flatlined hearts, Shirley Bassey's version can pop car tires, but Judy Collins' version is so bland and banal that it doesn't just encourage clowns to start interpretative dancing, it's forcing them to do it outside of their own free will. Send In The Clowns is also probably the primary cause of coulrophobia (it's the 21st Century! Google it!) in those of us from the age of 25-38.

What to listen to instead: Leo Sayer: The Show Must Go On

9. Jimmy Osmond: Long Haired Lover From Liverpool

I can't say too much about this one as I had to stop it 35 seconds into the song, it really does make me think of dark winter days rolling naked down hill after hill of broken glass. Were this a real Top Ten, rather than just a list, this would probably be number 1. Press play above, force your eyes open with matchsticks, and dream of what luxurious lives are led in Guantanamo Bay.

What to listen to instead: Donny Osmond: Puppy Love

8. Michael Jackson: Ben

It's so long ago now that it's hard to remember that this song was actually about a boy's love for his pet rat, Ben, for the movie of the same title. Ben is the sequel to the 1971 horror movie Willard, about a man who trains his pet rat Socrates to enact his vengeance, but the lone rat soon becomes just one of a team of other trained rats lead by the bigger and more intelligent Ben. Socrates eventually turns on his master and kills him, and all the super-intelligent rats escape. In Ben, a boy takes Ben to be his pet, and Ben's awesome powers protect him from bullies, but eventually Ben starts to take control and the rest of the rats start killing people and the police have to come in and contain the swarm. Ben gets away, but unfortunately does not get as far as a third movie, which would have made a wicked cute rats destroy mankind to childish love songs trilogy. So, yeah. Despite being nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Song in 1972, this song bears absolutely no resemblance to the source material it's based on.

What to listen to instead: Paul McCartney & Wings: Live And Let Die (Nominated for Best Original Song Oscar in 1973)

7. Debby Boone: You Light Up My Life

I never saw the movie that this song comes from, but for those who did, I'm truly, deeply, sorry. I did, however, see the trailer for it when I went to see Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo for some kids birthday, which was essentially this 4 minute version from the film intercut with other scenes from the movie. Needless to say, to this day, I have yet to subject myself to it. the only thing I can be happy for, in my own selfish way, is that we in the UK got the Sex Pistols in 1977, while you poor buggers in the US had two full months of this insipid dross as number one. Actually, while you were forced to hear that everywhere, we had four number ones which could could be considered either better or worse, depending on your tastes:-

David Soul: Silver Lady - A beautiful song sung by a beautiful man
Baccara: Yes Sir, I Can Boogie - The kind of Eurodisco that turns normal people into serial killers
ABBA: The Name Of The Game - Arguably the greatest ABBA song of all time
Paul McCartney & Wings: Mull Of Kintyre - My family anthem, apparently.

Then Mull of Kintyre proceded to wreak holy vengeance upon us Brits by staying there at number 1 for 9 weeks. 9 full weeks of bagpipe solos. Thinks about it. What makes it worse is that my sister actually bought the damn thing. She's responsible.

But anyway, yes. You Light Up My Life should never have been released.

What to listen to instead: Meco: Star Wars Theme - Cantina Band - This is what was number 1 in the US the week before Debby Boone got there...

6. Brotherhood Of Man: Save Your Kisses For Me

It's 1976, and this is my first real Eurovision Song Contest. We in Britain realized that if we ever wanted to win, we needed a singing group that reminded everyone of ABBA, and had a catchy dance gimmick. In 76, Brotherhood of Man stuck their thumbs behind their oversized belt buckles and bounced their hips in a non-sexual circular motion (in 81, Bucks Fizz did the same thing only the two girls ripped their skirts off to reveal slightly shorter skirts). Surprisingly, it worked, and BoM won that year. Save Your Kisses For Me was also the biggest selling single in the UK that year. Outside of the Euro-sphere, however, you have probably never been subjected to this strange love song with the 'surprise' Jackson-Approved ending, so I'm including here just for you. Bear in mind, this was the first dance routine I ever learned, and I was trotted out to perform it just about every time it came on at weddings, parties and wakes all throughout the later 70s. Thank God, no one remembers it now.

Okay, maybe next time it's played, you'll get me to do it one more time, just for old time's sake.

What to listen to instead: Brotherhood of Man: Figaro - Much more fun, and you feel less icky for enjoying it.

5. Styx: Babe

In just over 4 minutes, Styx invent the Power Ballad, and ruin pretty much any enjoyment I can get out of a regular rock album for the whole of the 80s. Every rock band has to have their version of Babe in their otherwise excellent album somewhere. I'm left crying in the closet as child, wondering what the hell I've spent my pocket money on. This one song is directly responsible for Bryan Adams' career. Well, that and the Canadian Content laws that virtually guarantee anyone with a record contract airtime. Screw you, Dennis De Young. Your band sucks. Thanks for nothing!

What to listen to instead: Typically Tropical: Barbados - Because despite the knowledge that it's sung by a white guy in an overtly racist Caribbean accent, it still totally erases my memory of that shite song above. Ah... Bliss...

4. Ray Stevens: Everything Is Beautiful

Quite simply, there's nothing wrong with this song. But he sold it to an advertising company, who used to sell wood sealant. So, yeah, whenever I hear it now, I do hear "Everything is beautiful, in it's own way... Ronseal keeps wood beautiful, beauty that will stay!" Nice way to remember a happy song about God and kids and stuff, right?

What to listen to instead: David Dundas: Jeans On - The proper way to sell your song out to advertisers. At least jeans are cool...

3. Maureen McGovern: Can You Read My Mind?

Ignore the weird karaoke-club video that goes with this. Astute readers will realize that this is the love theme from 1978's Superman. It's a lovely, almost haunting piece until OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE! Yep, they've taken that crap poem Lois Lane has going through her head as she flies with Superman, definitely the lamest part of an otherwise awesome movie, and set it to music. I don't know what's worse, the original scene with the poem, or the sung version with the dolphins and orcas. Either way, I need to scrub my brain with a Brillo pad. Nurse!

What to listen to instead: John Williams: Cavatina - Harrowing movie, beautiful piece of music, no stupid lyrics.

2. The Bellamy Brothers: If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me?

This song has, as it's title, such a ridiculous pick-up line, that I can't even use it in an ironic fashion. Plus, it's terrible, weak, and features far too much pedal-steel slide guitar. The word here, though really is weak. They spend the whole time asking if they can say this or call her that. It's the most passive-aggressive love song ever written. You can tell they're from Florida. These two guys really need to grow a pair... each this time.

Oh, the only song worse in this category of stupid trick titles is Dr. Hook's When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman. Seriously, guys, just stop.

What to listen to instead: The Bellamy Brothers: Let Your Love Flow - It's like a completely separate group, intelligent, poppy, and doesn't sound like something Sondra Locke would sing in one of those Any Which Way But Loose movies...

1. Manhattan Transfer: Chanson D'Amour

Ah the good old days of Gay Paris, sipping champagne in the cafe, Piaf reverberating from the 78rpm wind-up record player, Francois capitulating to the Nazis, zut alors! Les temps c'est fantastique! Oui, c'est vrai. Fantastique, indeed.

Someone out there was desperately trying to forget that it was 1977 and that punk was around the corner. Leo Sayer's When I Need You was number the week before, ABBA's Knowing Me Knowing You came after, but for three weeks the UK gave itself over to America's jazz quartet Manhattan Transfer, who wanted to sing us in Franglais a love song about how they think of love songs every time they see you, or every time they hear a Thompson Submachinegun go 'rat-tat-tat-tat-ta!" or something like that. So, yeah, it's either a slow plodding paean to a 1930s love affair, or it's an overlong cpdewrod for a French resistance operation. Take your pick...

What to listen to instead: Blondie: Denis - A much finer example of a song with a bit of French in it. And a video much more pleasant to the eye, too.

Scary 70s Thursday: Men in Giant Psychedelic Animal Suits

2008-12-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

You're being chased through the woods by a man-sized fuzzy blue lion, who sings psychedelic Beatles songs at you while you run. An orange monkey, a tiger with an eyepatch, and a green dog wearing a big brown hat capture you in a massive net, then implore the lion, whose name is Rory, to read aloud a story to you. If you've never woken up from either this particular nightmare in a pool of sweat, or anything like it, you probably didn't grow up in the late 60s to early 70s, and completely missed out on the weekly (sometimes even daily) man-sized furry freakshows that were a mainstay of children's television. You think you had it hard with the Teletubbies, and thought that baby in the sun thing was trippy... You haven't seen what happens when the Teletubbies and the Wiggles get together and get laid while on horse tranquilizers...

Animal Kwackers sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

It's a pretty simple rendition, actually, also found on their Animal Kwackers LP which I had as a child. Bongo, Rory, Twang and Boots play a happy melody written by the greatest rock and roll band ever in the world, and it just happens to be about being on LSD. I utterly loved this when I was a kid, and no amount of Just Say No campaigns later on as a teenager could remove the glory that was Animal Kwackers telling me to drop acid. None. So the good news is that when I finally do, I may actually be able to understand:

H. R. Pufnstuf

Technically this, and the following group of six-foot, two-legged monsters, were really made in the 60s, but their shows ran into the 70s and were on continual rerun throughout my decade. I never got to see the series of H. R. Pufnstuf, but did see the movie, and boy, between this, Hanna Barbera's version of Alice In Wonderland (or What's A Nice Kid Like You Doing In A Place Like This?), and The Phantom Tollbooth, you never actually have to say no to drugs. It's all right there, on the screen, man!

Anyhoo. Pufnstuf's name's a complete give away. He lives on Living Island, where, you know, wow, everything's alive, man, he calls everyone dude, dude. His friend Jimmy, the only true human on the show, is transported there by a magical talking flute. Not, you know, James Galway's magical golden flute, but one that talks, man. It's all, you know, wow, man... etc.

Not this flute, the one that TALKS!

Also notice that the title sequence is one minute forty-nine seconds. That's just for you guys at the back who zoned out halfway through the last show and couldn't remember what the hell it was about, or had some fight about 'bogarting' or somesuch.

The Banana Splits

There ain't much that can be said about this wacky foursome that hasn't been said before. Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky are the godfathers of six-foot psychedelic critterdom. (Fun Banana Splits fact: All the outside scenes in series one were filmed at Six Flags Over Texas theme park, by future director of Superman, Richard Donner.) Essentially The Banana Splits, a combine of the talents from Hanna Barbera and Sid & Marty Krofft who also created Pufnstuf, was a live-action cartoon. It used all the well-known Hanna Barbera sound effects and sight gags, and what's best is that there's absolutely no attempt to make the character's mouths move. So there's a lot of talking by creatures who grin like stoners or run around with their tongues sticking out like wasted junkies. So, sit back and enjoy The Banana Splits in all their wonderfully wacky-backy glory.

Now, thanks to the internet, these guys would be considered the godfathers of furrydom and I'm surprised there isn't some ultra-not-actually-sexy slash-fic written about them by basement bound 37 year-olds.

You know... Thinking about it... That doesn't sound like a bad idea at all... Time to start flexing those slash-fingers!

Just as Strange in the 70s - Doomsday Cults

2008-12-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

For those who are starting already to stockpile their canned foods and water bottles, duct tape, white paint and Armalites for the Rapture/2012/Big Terror Attack, you are not alone. Nor have you ever been. There are records in history of a Millennium cult that thought Jesus was going to save us in 1000AD, and ever since then (and, I'm sure before even that) people have truly believed that for some reason The End Of The World Is Nigh.

30 years ago, in 1978, things were no different. Along with the Jonestown Mass Suicides of Guyana in November, there was another group a little closer to home (well, at least closer to where I live now, anyway) who, in December of 1978, were also preparing themselves for the end of the world - in 1984.

This little look back at December 1978 from the Vineland Times Journal of south New Jersey found, amongst other odd stories of the day:

... members of a religious sect were picketing in support of their leader, who was being sought by the FBI on charges of federal income tax invasion.

According to the story, which ran as a two-part front-page series, the man claimed to be the prophet Jeremiah reincarnated and had publicly admitted that he hadn’t paid his income taxes since 1948.

Many of his followers, numbering 150 to 200 in South Jersey, also refused to pay federal taxes because they wanted “no part of a system bent on destruction of the human race.”

Even as their leader hid from the feds, they met on Tuesday nights in McKee City, studying the Bible and preparing to follow him into the mountains to wait out the effects of a nuclear war that was going to destroy two-thirds of the world’s population in 1984.

If there's a lesson to learned from late 1978 for all you conspiracy theorists, cultists and dominionists out there... It's that you may possibly be right, but more likely than not, you are very, very wrong.

If you are living in 1978, here's a handy 3-step guide on how to spot a cultist, versus your typical stuck in 1972 hippy.

If your brother lives in a commune - he's a hippy. If he lives on a compound - he's a cultist.
If your sister smokes a ton of weed then passes out on your couch - she's a hippy. If she drinks Kool-Aid, writes a cryptic pseudo-socialistic suicide note on the back of matchbook, then keels over dead - cultist.
If your best friend joins a new group of yogic flyers held by a guru in Mike's house every Tuesday night - hippy. If your best friend joins a new group by taking a psych test after being lured into a shop window on Charing Cross Road - scary, scary, scary cultist. Rescue your friend immediately, lest he end up as Tom Cruise's 40 year old manservant.

So, before the aliens ask you to take them to your leader and all you can point to is a large man called Bubba, probably a good idea to keep paying your taxes, and try not to poison all your followers in a Revolutionary Suicide pact. Not too much to ask, is it?

Creepy Happy 70s - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

2008-12-02T09:54:00.001-08:00

I've come to the conclusion that "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep" is the
most fun song about child abandonment ever written.

Must find a link to this catchy, twee, ominous marvel as soon as I get
back.

Oh, here it is... Middle Of The Road - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep (1971)

Of course, it's not the original version. There's a slightly more maudlin, yet still upbeat and strident version from 1970, by the song's writer, Lally Stott, here:

This is actually the version I heard yesterday which made me think of the old childish, stomping crowd pleaser that I grew up on dancing to at weddings and jubilees and such. This would inevitably be followed by Slade's Mama Weer All Crazee Now (1972). Not as scary, but just as damn catchy.

Now, where's that one? Oh, here! Even better, a non-lip-synched performance! Groovy!

Simple 70s Games #1 - Rebound

2008-11-23T11:20:00.001-08:00

Eight ball bearings with a plastic cover on it, two players and a bit of wood. The object of the game is to get as far down the other side of the board as you can without going over the edge for points. Player with most points wins. Take that, Grand Theft Auto!

Stranger in the 70s - The Popularity of Windswept Pianists

2008-11-23T11:07:00.001-08:00

Relax and enjoy the warm tones of Richard Clayderman's "Ballade Pour Adeline" as he floats through Paris on the back of a flatbed truck playing the piano and staring at you like a hungry dog.

Every now and then an anomaly appears in the record charts that just defies description. French pianist Richard Clayderman is one of those anomalies. His first single, proudly displayed in this post, sold 22 million copies in 38 countries in 1976. Since then he has sold upwards of 90 million records. Not bad for a former session musician.

There was an untapped market in 1976 for what I can only describe as middle class foreplay music. In terms of foreplay music, he was no Barry White. he wasn't even Mantovani (although Mantovani's influence on White's string arrangements is blatant), he was a handsome, safe French guy with a soft-fingered approach to love that thirty-something women could dig, and bachelors with black leather and chromed steel tubing furniture in their pads could use to lure the demure into the mood. I mean, look at him. The guy just oozes risk-free romance.

Having said all that, he's still enormously popular in South East Asia, so maybe I'm painting a incorrect picture, but back then, it was all Mateus red wine and whispered conversations in front of the gas fire on a cold winter night before Clayderman finally brings you to a point where you simply have to slip into something more... comfortable.

Ten Things We Miss From The 70s

2008-11-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

10. Pan-Am and TWA

Although these two airlines did start way back in the 30s and did continue beyond the 70s into the 90s, there's something classically 70s about Pan Am and TWA that's hard to pin down. Maybe it's the funky logos and typefaces they used. Pan Am had a reputation of being a pretty classy airline, which is why I'm including the magazine ad about first class down below. Notice the ridiculous amount of text you got in ads back then?

Pan Am's other famous tagline was "If you do not master your aircraft, your aircraft becomes your master".

Anyway, I was in a thrift store last weekend and came >< this close to purchasing an old TWA vinyl holiday bag in red and white. Although it would have made for a cool retro messenger bag, I had to remind myself that it was TWA, after all, and reminded me of Thomas Cook holiday catalogues. Brrr! Sent a chill down my back, I can tell you.

In the 70s, the term "widebody" was reserved for the aircraft, rather than passengers from Topeka.

TWA Commercial from the 70s, featuring Peter Sellers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLy2DkJ8xn8

Oh, hey, and this is the exact bag I found in the thrift store...

You may now realize why I didn't want to spend $30 on it.

Related: DC-10 Crashes

"Look, ma, no engine!"

Yes, I know I shouldn't joke about them, but it was hard not to. To start with, the cargo doors had a habit of blowing off the plane in mid-air, causing them to decompress and fall out of the sky. So they fixed the problem and went back into service, only for the engine to fall off of the DC-10 you see above at Chicago's O'Hare Airport. For a long time, as a kid, whenever we saw a plane flying over our school, we'd assume the worse and run for cover, just in case it was a DC-10. Since then, I've flown on a couple of DC-10's and they're not bad little planes. I just tend to pray more whenever I board one...

9. Leisure Suits

Luckily, I wore some weird crap when I was young, but no one bought me one of these. I was a shorts and t-shirts kinda kid, preferably tennis-related, and I could make a pair of Converse Chuck Taylors last forever. I'd have hated being stuck in any kind of suit back then, let alone one made with 100% polyester, but now... hey why not? They're color coordinated, no need to iron, and you look like a guy who's ready to safari. How can you beat that?

Rather typically, Adam couldn't find a seat in the cafeteria because the German tourists had claimed them all already by 6am.

Related: Iron-On Patches

These guys made it into the 80s with the rise of the denim jacket and metal band, but they were at their best and weirdest in the 70s. Why on earth would anyone buy an article of clothing, then buy a patch which is not much more than an advert for a product, then spend the time ironing them onto said article of clothing? Because jeans are expensive and you've worn a hole in the knees, of course!

Having said that, not sure if my mum would have given me one of these to put on my knees. Not until I was 10, anyway.

You can never have enough Schlitz on your jeans.

Related: Crimplene

I really shouldn't have to say too much about this stuff. Yet another non-iron man-made polyester blend that neither breathed nor fitted properly. The dress below is 100% crimplene, and makes even a headless mannequin look like a sweaty Stay-Pressed Cruella DeVille. However, because of its memory plastic nature, you could roll it up, throw it in a TWA Vacation Getaway bag, fly to DC, take it out and throw it on and still look great in time for the Ambassador's Party. Just stay away from naked flames, or hairy waiters serving Ferrero Roche.

Everybody run, Joan Crawford's ghost is coming for you...

8. Datsuns

I honestly miss Datsuns. There was something of the Ford Capri to them. Long noses and lean muscular racing lines, and cool, cool colors. When Nissan killed the brand in the 80s I was so disappointed. Don't forget, I had a couple of Datsuns in my Matchbox Super 75 collection, but I never had any Nissans, no sirree. So, yeah, bring back the Datsun.

Believe it or not, the 610 really was the most luxurious Datsun.

Plus, they had a logo that looks just like a London Underground station.

7. LED Digital Watches

LED watches came out just before the more comonly known LCD watches which is what we would conceive of as a digital watch today. But LED watches were way cooler. For a start, they required more power than an LCD watch, which meant that, in order to find out what time it was, not only did you have to look at your watch, you had to find a big silver button on the side and press that in until you had a dent in your finger to make the LEDs light up. Some of them had a calendar, too, but by then, your finger's got a hole in it, and you're using an ice lolly stick to bridge the gap and hey, it's not worth the trouble, man.

Despite that, all you could think about was that you had a watch that looked like it belonged on an astronaut, and who wouldn't want that?

Someone actually thought it would be a good advertisement to show this watch not telling the time.

6. People On The Moon

Speaking of astronauts, remember when they didn't just go up in space, float about a bit then come back down again? That's right, we actually sent them places. What's crazier is that we sent them to the moon using computers that have been eclipsed in power and memory by my old Motorola Razr. That's some pretty heavy stuff right there, dude.

Apollo 17 Astronaut re-enacts scenes from "Dude, Where's My Car?"

Related: SkyLab

This thing was about the size of a Lower East Side studio apartment, yet three people at a time lived and worked in it 24 hours a day 7 days a week for months. Sure the Soyuz cosmonauts had it bad, but think about the smell. It's not like you can just open a window or anything. International Space Station? Luxury! On the plus side, you were closer to home than the crazy guys on the moon. Bad side? When everyone left it, they just waited for it to fall out of the sky. If that was its main purpose in life, you might as well saved all those tax-payer dollars and thrown a DC-10 up there instead.

Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

5. Jimmy Hoffa

Okay, I don't miss him. But he is missing. Still. Rumor has it that I ride over him on the train every morning on the way to work.

Giants Stadium Stairwell Foundation, East Rutherford, NJ: Self-portrait.

Related: Lord Lucan

This guy, however, I do miss, because I grew up on the stories of his disappearance and there were constant sightings of him appearing in the papers all through the 70s and early 80s. Lord Lucan killed his children's nanny with the lead pipe in the basement, and tried to kill his wife, too, before she escaped and called for help. When the police searhed the house he was not there, and has never been found since. Rumor has it that he fled to Rhodesia and changed his name to Ian Smith.

"Oui, oui, je suis une porn star."

4. A world without home computers

I know, I know. Without this thing I wouldn't be able to write this, you wouldn't be able to read it, and Google Analytics wouldn't keep making me cry by telling me I have no hits. No matter, I'm not sorry. I really would prefer a world without email, Blackberrys, internet porn, first person shooters and worst of all, national databases. So, that begs the question... What did we do without home computers?

Instead of Word Processors we had Typing Pools

The device below is called a typewriter. A police officer in 2008 found one of these in a carrying case at the bottom of a set of stairs and called in the bomb squad to blow it up, because he'd never seen one before. Then again, this was in Florida, so no big surprise there.

Typists in the 70s were trained in school, and probably wouldn't be able to get a job unless they touch-typed at an average of 70-plus words per minute. 90 WPM was more common. Sometimes a typist would have to take a dictation, either live, or from a cassette, and would use either a weird squiggly language called 'short-hand' or type as fast as the person was speaking. In teh 70s, if you were a short-hand or audio typist, with a 90WPM speed, you'd get pretty far in your typing pool.

Mildred always lost the Friday afternoon 'staring slightly to the right' competitions.

Ever wonder what the CC stands for in an email? It means Carbon Copy. That was a sheet of carbon paper that went between sheets of regular paper that would print on the second sheet as you typed. You could make about 4 copies of anything at any one time using that stuff. After that, the hammers of the typewriter wouldn't be strong enough to go through all that paper. Carbon paper was a great time-saver, but you never really wanted to touch it, as it would invariably go all over your hand, and then everyone would know who strangled their boss last Friday.

Telex

Your average business card in 2008 contains your phone number and your email address. In the 70s it would be your phone number and your Telex number. Fax machines existed, but they were extremely poor quality. Much better to type out your message or letter again and then send it via telex. Or, even better, by mail. If the postmen weren't on strike, that is.

Sure, for 1978 this was a pretty cool laptop, but it was a bugger trying to fit into my messenger bag.

TeleType Machines

If you listen to radio news, you'll hear one of these clacking away in the background. Well, at least a looped audio file of one, anyway. My main memory of these is the British TV Sports show, Grandstand. After 4.30pm every Saturday, the football results would start coming in, and rather than just telling us what they were, they'd actually cut to the teletype machine as it was receiving them and a man with the most BBC English voice you'ev ever heard would read them out. We all waited with baited breath for the Scottish results to come in, though, as we all longed for him to announce "Forfar 5, East Fife 4", but I don't think it ever happened.

The new Terminator could take any shape or form, once it had touched it.

Related: A world where political scandals ended in something other than '-gate'.

3. Smitty

The "Smitty Did It" ad campaign was huge back in the mid-70s. Somehow, just the knowledge that you were wearing it was enough to reverse gravity. I mostly miss this, though for one reason, as no one I knew actually wore the stuff (they all used Charlie)... My sister used to pick me and swing me around while I sang the jingle.

Weird memories tend to land on my head like that.

Smitty: Anti-gravity juice for ladies.

Here's a link to the commercial. Hopefully it works as I can't test it here.

http://www.tvparty.com/tv4/smitty-77-hi.ram

Related: Harmony Hairspray

Is she or isn't she, the commercial used to ask us. And of course, she was, but only until the invention of mousse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_ZiUGgsePo

2. Beverage Pull Tabs

For years we were given cans that had pull tabs that came completely off, rather than the ones we have today that scrunch metal into your drink before you get a chance to drink it. Pull tabs were great when they worked, but they had two problems. Firstly, sometimes the ring section would break off, leaving the can completely unopenable, except with a stick.

Each can came embossed with two easily ignorable sentences.

Secondly, the streets were littered with these things:

Mostly, they were squashed by cars or bikes. There are some sections of road in London still where you can see them, flattened and embedded into the asphalt as though they were part of the mixture. Archaeologists in thousadns of years time will dig up those roads wondering why we placed them there, and they'll never know. They'll never know.

Related: Watney's Party Seven

Because a party ain't a party until someone brings a couple of sevens with them. This is just a seven pint can of cheap crap ale. It wasn't a keg, because it didn't have a tap, you just poked a hole in it and poured.

Ta-daa! Instant party!

1. Chicken In A Basket

Before my dad had his Triumph Dolomite, we had a Morris 1300. Where we lived in London, the spot behind my dad's car was taken up by an orange Reliant Robin that was used as a Chicken-In-A-Basket delivery van. To this day, I know that CIAB was supposed to be classy, if you were working class council flat kids like me, but for the life of me I don't know why. It's not chicken cordon bleu, it's not not even chicken kiev, it's just chicken. And it's not even on a plate.

Still felt posh, though...

It's chicken. And it's in a basket.

Related: Black Forest Gateau

Layers of cream, sponge, strawberries, chocolate. It fell out of favor with the introduction of the Wall's Viennetta, but you'd still never turn down a slice of this yumness.

Om-nom-nom!

Life On Mars USA: The Pilot

2008-10-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, so last night the US version of Life On Mars premiered on ABC. For those who don't know, Life On Mars was a BBC show about a 'noughties' detective who is hit by a car and wakes up in 1973. He discovers he's still a cop, still has detective work to do, and has to solve the rather meta-phyical puzzle of how he got thjere and why. Did he travel in time? Is he dreaming this while in coma? Or has he simply gone insane? Quite the trifecta. The original, set in Manchester, UK, is a bleak view of the early 70's. The majority of the population are unionized factory workers, or shopkeepers, or bouncers in gentlemen's nightclubs. Women are still finding their place in society. Racists openly taunt and belittle non-whites to their faces without consequence. Yet the show also manages to slide a massive slice of warm nostalgia into this huge shite sandwich. It's a violent, it needs to be un-PC world, that portrays the world as it really was back then, one episode at time, walking the line between showing us how far we've come and how much we'd love to go back to live there. The show itself, however, is a cop show, based on a cross between The Sweeney and the original Get Carter. The Independent describes it as a "time when hair was long, lapels were wide, and police brutality came as standard." That pretty much sums it up.

The US version transplants the action to New York's East Village, which is apropos, as many of its denizens never made it out of the 70s anyway.

So, what did I think?

I didn't think it was all that bad. There were a few key moments where they hit it perfectly. Firstly, well they actually shelled out the cash to get Life On Mars and Baba O'Reilly on the soundtrack at the exact same points as the original. The shot of the World Trade Center that seals the deal that he's in 1973 is spot on, almost brought tears to Mrs Ski's eyes. All my hopes that they make this a kind of gritty, urban crime drama with a little wit thrown in, like a Starsky & Hutch, or Kojak, seem to have been fulfilled. It looks fantastic, a ton of attention has gone into the detail, and the CGI work that gives us New York 1973 is seamless.

Script-wise... Most of it was taken directly from the first episode of the original. There were obviously the changes in slang, and nicknaming Annie "No-Nuts" was a perfect hearkening back to 1977's The Choirboys (about dysfunctional and corrupt LA cops) who had a character called No Balls Hadley. Otherwise, it was a little hit-and-miss. There was too much exposition, not enough wit or one-liners, and no tension at all really between Tyler and Hunt, which is the key to the success of the show. Maybe they'll build that up more, but poor Keitel, who is seriously starting to look his age (69), didn't have much to work with in this pilot. His entrance, I have to admit is pretty classic, though... He's just standing there in the doorway to his office fanning himself - cut to Hunt gut-punching Tyler to show him who's in charge. However, it just felt a little rushed, and no surprise, as they had to get five plots that previously had an hour to breathe into 42 minutes which they didn't quite manage to do, so the impact of the event is lost somewhat.

Acting-wise, everyone was better than expected. Harvey Keitel needs to be tougher, but, as I said, they didn't give him much to work with. I was extremely impressed with Michael Imperioli as Ray, though. He seemed a lot more threatening and uncaring than Keitel, and it looks like they may turn much of the Tyler/Hunt tension into Tyler/Carling tension.

Music was good. Direction sucked, though. Too much focus on Tyler, and not enough background interplay between the other characters. This might change as the series progresses and they move away from the original scripts, but this should be much more of an ensemble piece than last night's episode was.

All in all, I'm still optimistic about it. I think the show had a good start, but I'm not sure if it would have hooked me instantly quite the way the BBC version (and I saw that on a plane... I *needed* to know what happened as soon as I landed!) did. One major plus to it is the look of 1973 New York. Although it seems a little too clean to be real, the slightly grainy, earth-tone color correction of the world gives you a great feel for 1973 NYC. I only hope enough people keep watching it to make it what it should be, an edgy 70's cop show with a 2008 detective in it.

Ridski has sent you a custom Slacker radio station

2008-10-02T15:31:00.001-07:00

What's happening, everyone! I built a little Made in the 70s internet radio station on Slacker.com. I'll be adding more bands and songs on it going forward, but this should be enough to get us all started. It's totally groovy, man.

Ridski sent you a personalized Slacker radio station. Check out the station details below or click here to start listening now.

Made in the 70s

Radio

Made in the 70s

Made in the 70s plays the best music from Alan Parsons, Argent, Badfinger, Barry White, Billy Paul, Billy Preston, Boz Scaggs, Crosby, Stills & Nash, David Bowie, Deep Purple and many more!

Your friend Ridski sent you this email. Please feel free to review our privacy policy. - www.slacker.com Copyright � 2007 Slacker, Inc.

Having Trouble Selling Your Product? Naked Hippie Chicks Work Everytime

2008-09-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

It's true. If it wasn't for Ace Combs, we wouldn't be able to rock the Fu Manchu 'tache, cover our Bristols with nothing but hair, enjoy our four foot long combover or... Wait... There's no way Foxy Brown used that comb to frizz out her afro. It would take her all day and hurt like a mofo! What were they thinking?

Listen Foxy, forget Ace Combs, and those hippies to your right. They're no good to you. They don't know you like I know you. You need to get your bad self one of these:

You're damn right.

Cooler in the 70s: Car Chase Movies

2008-09-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the current fuel crisis and the tanking economy, I tend to feel a pang of guilt whenever I switch the channel and stop to watch motorsports. As a kid, I loved motorsports and two of my biggest heroes were Formula One driver James Hunt and Motorcycle Grand Prix rider Barry_Sheene . Now I have the choice of NASCAR, F1, IndyCar, Drag Racing, MotoCross, Rally driving, Dirtbiking, etc... And I always feel like they might want to tone it down a bit and save some of that gas for the rest of us to keep the costs down a bit. Maybe play some NASCAR Thunder on the Wii instead, something like that.

Sure, there was an oil crisis also going on in 1973, but that didn't seem to stop anyone from making the kinds of movies where the main object of entertainment is ostensibly a 70 minute car chase across the northern California. Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry is one such film, but you could add Vanishing Point, Duel, Smokey and the Bandit, Convoy, Gone in 60 Seconds and Death Race 2000 to that list. Anytime you have a simple first reel set-up and 70 minutes or more of cars chasing each other, you've got a 1970's hit movie. Add some desert-road diners, a couple of gas station fights, and at least one middle-of-nowhere motel, and you have a blockbuster on your hands.

Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry is about a simple a set-up as it gets. Peter Fonda and Adam Roarke rob a supermarket, and discover their getaway vehicle has Susan George in it. Peter shagged Susan something rotten the night before, in a motel, but unbeknownst to him she's a wily drifter who discovers what they've done and forces them to let her tag along. Cue 70 minutes of spectacular high-speed car chases and mindblowing car and helicopter stunts.

There are some interesting points that make DMCL stand out from more commercial fare like Smokey and The Bandit, however. For a start, there's no musical score. There's a song at the beginning, one at the end, and a couple of times where Susan turns on the radio, or you hear one in the background, but there is no composed incidental music anywhere in the movie. It's a strange effect that brings you closer and closer to their world, as you hear nothing police radios and V8 engines as the soundtrack to their lives.

Another thing is that, despite knowing that these are criminals that just robbed a grocery store, their reasoning behind it (Fonda is a wannabe NASCAR driver and Roarke is his mechanic, but they couldn't get a sponsor to afford a car fast enough to enter any races) allows the audience to forget what they've done. We almost instantly like them, and all we care about is that these guys, with their free-wheeling lifestyle and easy charm, get away with it. At times, you even want their many attempts to ditch Susan George to succeed, as she does come across at a tad annoying. She is, though, an interesting character - a chronic liar, pretending to be a dumb blond trailer-trash good-time chick, but sometimes little moments of education and street smarts shine through, relentlessly clinging to Larry almost as a father figure, needing of attention and some kind of thrill in her otherwise mundane drifting life. The script finally gives her a backstory, provided by the police no less, but she herself has lied so much about her past I can't even believe what's on her criminal record. Suffice to say, she has one, and the two store robbers have one, and that means only thing. A shocking, but appropriate ending.

DMCL is a classic cult car chase movie that makes you forget how much gas costs now, even with the knowledge that back then, at the height of the 73 oil crisis, it was only 53c a gallon. Sit back, switch off your brain, enjoy the speed, and don't forget that this movie, when it came out in 74, was distributed almost exclusively to drive-in movie theaters.

Cracking open the famous Simon

2008-09-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

If you didn't have a Simon, you knew someone who did. I didn't, but I didn't need one, as my trusty Merlin (see previous posts) had a Simon-like game on it. Yep, my Merlin was too cool for simple Simon.

This article, from CNET, opens the lid, literally, on Simon, and takes a look at what made him tick. Fun to see what back in 1978 we considered a "computer-controlled game", really...

Ray Winstone in new HBO Cop Drama set in 1972

2008-08-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

Some people may have noticed my newly-founded obsession with the 70's began roughly a day after I watched the first season of Life On Mars about a year and a half ago. It's a weird feeling that's been growing on me ever since, that nostalgic longing for simpler times that I know people in their 30's in 1978 had for the late 50's. But I do now unabashedly enjoy traveling down Memory Lane when I chance, and hope you readers are happily following along.

So, it brings me a mixture of happiness and trepidation that the US version of Life On Mars wasn't canceled after very poor reviews of the pilot episode, but has been completely re-tooled, re-scripted, and moved from 1972 L.A. to 1972 New York, with Harvey Keitel now as Gene Hunt, and Gretchen Mol as Annie. It could be great, it could be okay, it could bomb completely. Either way, the original UK show cannot suffer, and as long I've still got those discs, I'm happy.

Whatever the outcome of October 9th's season premiere of Life On Mars, there's something currently filming in Brooklyn that has also peaked my interest: "Last Of The Ninth" is a new HBO series starring Ray Winstone as a cop in the same corrupt 1972 NYPD that Serpico tried to fight. I can completely imagine ABC screwing up a perfect show by watering it down, changing the reality of the characters, etc., but HBO, who probably should have made Life On Mars in the first place, I fully trust to get it right. Who knows, maybe I'll be proved wrong, and if I am, then I'll be a happy man.

CB Radios Still Being Sold and Used

2008-08-24T09:18:00.001-07:00

Here's a fun article about CB Radio (again) from the Chicago Tribune, not so much reminiscing about them, as explaining why people are still, even these days of iPhones and the Internet, still buying and using CB radios.

About 800,000 CB radios are sold in the U.S. each year. That's a far cry from the 10 million iPods that Apple moves each quarter, but not a bad little number for a market most of us probably didn't think existed anymore.

Total 70s Freak Out

2008-08-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

Found a wicked site that's been around way longer than this one, but for some reason doesn't appear when I do any searches on Blogger for 70s blogs. It's called plaidstallions.com, and it's taken a love of the 70s into the realm of complete mockery, which means not only is it funny, but extremely cool at the site. I'll let Brian, the site owner, explain it better:

"The name "Plaid Stallions" Came about when I was in high school, I have always been crazy about department store catalogs and when a close friend of mine told me his mother had a stash of 70's Eatons ( a now defunct Canadian Department store chain), I grabbed them with both hands!

While we were pouring through them, I ripped out a page of guys in plaid leisure suits (which I believe is the one above) and said "Check out the Plaid Stallions!", I want to add that no one but me found that funny.

For some odd reason, I still found it funny and in April of 2006, I created a daily blog of the same name so I could make stupid jokes about polyester clothing I probably would have worn if I were in my 20's at the time.

Eventually, I liked doing the blog so much that bought the domain name and expanded it into this site."

Check out his 70s Fashion Mockery galleries, TV and Movie Character Mall Appearance gallery, and tons of scans from fashion and toy catalogues from back in the day. This is a treasure trove of nostalgic goodness, veen though much of it was very American, and I have no idea what it is. He has a blog, too, as well as discussion forums which mostly deal with vintage toys, and how to get hold of them, but is a fun read anyway.

Merlin Electronic Game

2008-08-15T20:30:00.003-07:00

Mentioned in the previous post below this one, here's Merlin. Lordy, how I loved that stupid little red plastic thing.

Simpler in the 70s: Handheld Video Games

2008-08-15T20:30:00.001-07:00

Some of the more astute of you will have noticed that up there in the title banner, one of the ghostly images superimposed behind the title itself is that of a game called Blip.

As you can see from this 1977 commercial, it's basically a handheld version of Pong, but it's half-mechanical, half-electronic. You have a timer, and three buttons, and you have to hit the LED ball back across the screen using the buttons. The weird thing in the commercial, though, is that the LED ball doesn't seem to conform to any kind of laws of physics. It seems to bend and land wherever it feels like.

I had this game as a kid, and remember loving it, but, of course, had no one to play it with. So I basically played it in one-player mode until the batteries died, then it ended up as trash in the bottom of my MFI toy chest until we finally threw it out.

Anywho, roll on next Christmas, and I got a Merlin (commercial in the post above), the Electronic Wizard, which had 11 buttons and 6 different games. Unlike the far inferior Blip, Merlin taught me how to play Blackjack. Later additions to game also taught me how to smoke and drink neat scotch with a little water to bring out the flavor, and to make sure that I wear dark sunglasses while playing Tic Tac Toe so I don't give away any 'tells'.

Merlin was worth buying new batteries for. In fact, I remember playing that damned thing so much that I had worn the circles off the buttons, and you could actually see the switches underneath the plastic. I was a Blackjack fiend back then, as long as I wasn't playing with actual real people and cards and such.

About 4 years later, I got a second-hand Atari console, and could play proper Pong until the cows came home. But that was the 80s, and the 80s don't play here.

Awesome in the 70s: Matchbox Superfast 75 Cars

2008-08-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

From about 1975 onwards I was a massive fan of the die-cast metal rolling wonders known as Matchbox cars. Everything I knew about motorized transport I learned from these three-inch cars. The best ones, of course, were the ones with extras like opening doors and trunks. Interestingly, though, they all had exactly the same wheels.

Here's comes the nostalgia part: My dad used to have a Saturday morning routine back then. I'd go with him on the number 74 bus from Primrose Hill into Camden Town, which was nothing like Camden is today. It was more like a barren wasteland populated only by Scottish alcoholics that lived in Arlington House and hung out either in The Mother Red Caps (now the smaller bar on the corner of the World's End - which at the time had doors to the toilets so low only Scottish alcoholics and 6 year-olds could walk through without having to bend down) or the Good Mixer on Inverness Street.

There were two primary missions to this journey into Camden: One to hand in the football pools for that week which never won, and the second to get some fresh bread from Biroth's bakery on Camden High Street. Sometimes we'd go into Syd's barbers to get our "short back and sides" hair cut, and a lollipop for being good. Sometimes we'd pop into the cafe on Inverness Street and get beans on toast. But all of this was a prelude to getting those pools in to the newsagents, because on the wall opposite was the cabinet that held all the Matchbox cars (there was another one underneath that held Smurfs, but I generally ignored those). They were 50p each. Sometimes I was even allowed to buy two.

All of the below are cars that I had in my collection until one day in the 80s, I got bored in my sister's bedroom and trashed them all with darts before giving the remains to my nephew to play with. Why do we do that?

I use to have some Corgi cars, and even a couple of Dinky's, too, but neither of those were cool. Let's face it, Matchbox even made stationwagons look cool.

Shame there's no fake wood paneling down the side. If I recall correctly, though, the bottom door on the trunk at the back could flip down. I know I did have one that did that, might not be this one.

There were quite a few that were obviously made up, like this Fire Chief's car. Can't even figure out what it's supposed to be.

Ah, a classic. With doors that opened, too.

Again, a rather stately vehicle with opening doors.

This is one of the first ones I picked up. Looking back on it, I have no idea what the hell attracted me to a pink Datsun. It's not even a funky 70s color. What was I thinking?

Yep, I had this too. It's a track that you linked up and raced the cars down, it was flexible plastic, with raised edges to keep the cars inside the track, so you could create little hills and jumps and so forth. Loved this stuff. No idea what the hell happened to it.

Okay... My Matchbox collection had a hierarchy; a kind of cross between a pantheon of gods and the Cosa Nostra. The leader of the pack in this rag-tag group of die-cast vehicles was the De Tomaso Pantera. I think I saw one once in real life and nearly wet my pants. De Tomaso was the coolest-looking, meanest, most animalistic car of them all. This one, along with the beefy Pontiac Firebird turbo at the bottom of this list, which was the Enforcer, ruled all my other cars. Yeah, I said it. My Matchbox cars had their personalities, which really makes wonder what kind of kid would put the windshields out with a dart, but I digress.

Another made up car, perhaps, or a dragster? Who knows. All I know is it looked like it had rocket launchers on the top, and that enough for me to buy it.

And of course, anything to do with space just had to be mine.

The Hellraiser, like quite a few of the dragster-style cars, is questionably based on a real car. It might be, it might not be. If we had the kind of Top Gear back then that we do today, I'd probably see it on TV, but back then... Not so much. These were great for racing on the Super Track, but with no canopy and such a big engine, I'd imagine anyone trying to really drive that beast would just sucked out the top on a straightaway.

This one was just goofy. The back wheels were connected to the little guy in the middle, so his head would pop up and down as you pushed it along.

Hey, this once had a number, and racing stripes! And doors that worked! Forget that it's a Renault, this is one car that obviously moved, and fast! Zoom-zoom, indeed!

This is probably the lamest one of the collection. It doesn't look fast, has a color scheme still stuck in the 60s, and the doors don't work, despite this one even having handles imprinted on those doors, which many of the cars didn't. Definitely one of the early purchases. I was young and impressionable back then. Like, yeah, 6, so sue me.

This was another crazy hot rod car I had back in the day. Anything where you could see bits of the engine were a turn-on for me when I was 6. Otherwise, a fairly non-descript car.

Hmm... Yeah. I don't know why they made it, I don't why I bought it, but... Yeah. Hovercraft. It had little wheels under it.

I was looking at the Hellraiser and thinking, didn't this come with, like, an engine cover that flipped up backwards? No, the Tanzara did. This held the rank of 3 in my pantheon of cars. I *hearted* my Tanzara. And, as an added bonus, it was part of the much-maligned Matchbox Streakers line.

I had to hunt a little further to find me a picture of my Enforcer, the beefiest Pontiac Firebird you ever saw. I may have mentioned before that I've always had a thing for that particular car in real life, and this is probabloy where it started. It just screams muscle, racing for pink slips, picking up chicks in Daisy Dukes on the main drag, doesn't it? Forget the fact that it's the kind of car you buy during your mid-life crisis, it's seriously cool, man.

There were many more in my collection, if I find any more pics I'll post them. Pics here are courtesy of 70er Matchbox, and Matchbox 1-75.

Cooler in the 70s - The Rockford Files

2008-07-14T15:14:00.001-07:00

What's happening, guys? Long time, no see.

Got a chance to watch the pilot episode of The Rockford Files last weekend, and it got me thinking about the interesting decisions networks (especially in the US) make in between the pilot episode and the beginning of a series proper.

The pilot episode lays out all the basic you need to know about the life of Jim Rockford, Private Investigator. He's usually broke and owes money to someone, he's a bit of a coward but he can often smart-talk or fast-act his way out of a bad situation, he lives in a trailer on the beach with his dad, and he has a thing for the ladies. Well, he's a PI in the 70s, of course he has a thing for the ladies.

What else? He drives a metallic bronze Pontiac (looks like a 73 Firebird, but could be a Grand Am - I'm sure you car buffs out there will be able to help), he spent 5 years in state pen for a robbery he or may not have committed, his was the first time I had ever seen or heard of an answering machine, and he has better dress sense than about anyone else on the show.

As Jim Rockford, James Garner displays the same kind of rugged, easy-going, charmer that made him famous in the earlier Maverick. Were he a little younger, even, he would have made a great Indiana Jones in 1981.

Now once this is all set up in the pilot, once you get to the first real episode you notice a couple of things straight away.

1. His dad is played by a different actor (this kind of thing happens all the time).
2. The Pontiac that was blown up in the desert by a guy in a plane with a machine gun has miraculously returned.
3. The music that opened the pilot, but did not play under the credits, is now the official theme tune of The Rockford Files.

There's also a couple of format additions. First, there's a teaser section where they show you some upcoming scenes from the show you're about to watch, then you get the now-infamous answering machine messages. This did not appear in the pilot, but The Rockford Files wouldn't be the same without them now. There's a great Rockford Files website out there that not only breaks down all the episodes as it ran from 1974 to 1980, but also has audio files of all the answering machine messages, too. Excellent little bit of archiving there. The Museum of Television and Radio should be proud.

I have to admit I do have a soft spot in my heart for this show. It was character-driven, but had fun plots and some great car chases (and, as seen above, truck chases). Testament to some awesome stunt work, the kind you found all through 70s US TV shows.

Until next time, hang loose.

Exactly the same in the 70s: Vandalism

2008-05-21T10:15:00.001-07:00

While all you Daily Mail readers are whining about the country going to hell in a handbasket thanks to "the kids today", just shut your eyes and listen to this little Public Information Film from back in 1970. Yep, 38 years ago, the exact same conversation was still going on. Some things really never change.

Well, except mustaches and those swinging haircuts.

Things you could get away with in the 70s - part three

2008-05-06T14:58:00.001-07:00

There is a link here. Apache - Lone Ranger - Kenny Everett. It's impossible to explain old Kenny, but he was completely beloved in the UK in the 70s and early 80s. The bawdy humour was similar to that of Benny Hill, but not lecherous, and somehow there was a warmth to him that Benny didn't have.

Here's a wee warning, though. This video, strangely, is Not Really Safe For Work, despite the fact that it was broadcast at 8pm on ITV and neither my mum nor dad thought there was anything in it I shouldn't be watching at the age of 7. The Kenny Everett Video Show was anarchic, sexy, silly, and above all hilarious over-the-top fun. Possibly the most dangerous he ever got was the creation of a character called Cupid Stunt, but hey, that was the 80s, and we don't like to talk about 'round these here parts.

Poor little bugger. I miss the guy.

Little known fact: Kenny was the voice of Charley the Cat from those scary public information films we showed you last month. True story, found it in Wikipedia.

Things you get away with in the 70s - Part Two

2008-05-06T13:44:00.001-07:00

Everything in this song, apparently. Sorry there's no real video for it, but it does give you a chance to really listen to the lyrics.

The chant at the beginning and middle-eight is actually the Maori name for a hill in New Zealand. Thanks to the power of the internet, you can now chant along perfectly:

Taumata-whaka-tangi-hanga-kuayuwo
tamate-aturi-pukaku-piki-maunga
horonuku-pokaiawhen-uaka-tana-tahu
mataku-atanganu-akawa-miki-tora

This was originally banned by Radio One when it was released in 1977, but it made a resurgence in 1979 thanks to British TV and radio comedian Kenny Everett, who played it extensively on his radio shows and used the chant as bumpers between sketches on his TV show. I really got to fall in love with it when my sister bought the soundtrack album for the Joan Collins sleazefest movie, The Bitch, and I got to play it whenever I wanted. Never did get that chant down, though.

BTW, I heartily recommend The Bitch. It's the sequel to The Stud. Both movies are ridiculously bad, and were even back in the day, but they're great popcorn trash. Imagine these were a trilogy and the final chapter was Showgirls. Yes. Entertainingly bad.

Things you could get away with in the 70s - part one

2008-05-06T12:58:00.001-07:00

1. Moustaches.

2. Scantily-clad black and white dancers pretending to be Native American "squaws".

3. Danish disco versions of the Shadows classic, Apache.

The Playlist

2008-05-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

Not everyone has noticed this yet, so I thought I'd point it out for you. Over to your right is the Made In The 70s Playlist, updated usually at least once a month, it's about 10 to 20 songs that I personally recommend listening to. Even better, each one has a youtube link so you can watch these fine artists do their stuff. Some times it's funny, some times it's just plain awesome. There's twenty there right now, so check them out.

Cooler in the 70s: Rednecks with Radios - Part One

2008-04-24T11:35:00.001-07:00

In a world of blogs, internet radio, podcasts, instant messaging, online gaming and message boards, it's hard to remember a time when the ramblings of the average joe could only be projected roughly 20 miles, on a good day, from a hill top, from behind the hand held microphone of a Citizen's Band radio. Yet, for many people, whether alone in their bedrooms, or on the road in their long-haul trucks and cars, the CB was the only way to reach out to others nearby behind the cover of an anonymous handle.

Yes, CB radio was the first attempt at electronic social networking.

One of the appeals of CB radio was the inherent anti-establishment nature of the device. You could say what you wanted, without being subject to FCC rules or regulations. It was commercial-free. It allowed for instant feedback, both good and bad. Most of all, it was used a tool primarily by people who didn't want the law to know what they were talking about. CB radio had its own rules, its own language, its own way of starting and ending conversations, it could be used as a way of warning other drivers of a speed trap up ahead, or as a way for people to catch up with nearby friends. Most of the time, though, yeah, it was used to warn people of speed traps.

In the UK, CB radio wasn't made legal until 1981. There had been a campaign running for about 6 years prior to that, and strangely, as soon as we got what we wanted, the fad quickly died. Like Usenet, it devolved into a mess of pointless roger-beeping and people playing their own records over other people's attempts to hold a conversation. CB radio wasn't meant to be your own pirate radio station, it was meant for you to tell us where the pigs are.

So, despite my own memories of CB being from the 80's in London, the dream belonged to the golden age of CB radio, about 1976 to 1979.

There were two small movies in 1975 called Moonrunners and White Line Fever, both of which outlined the outlaw aspect of trucking and smuggling which fed into the Rednecks with Radios genre. The core principle was that, like many other genres in a post-Watergate 70s, the government, and by extension, the cops, were corrupt and couldn't be trusted. They were agents of mild totalitarianism, and, like rebellious Robin Hoods, the outlaw truckers and moonshine runners were the good guys, just doing what they have to do to make ends meet in a world where the man is trying to keep them down.

In the same year, C. W. McCall released the awesome novelty single, Convoy, the story of three truckers driving from Los Angeles to Tulsa, who start a convoy, quickly picking up a long line of trucks, buses, cars and vans, until the authorities try to take them down with a roadblock. They bust through the roadblock, and now they're all outlaws, careening across the US with no real destination until their convoy has over a thousand vehicles following behind lead trucker Rubber Duck. By the time Rubber Duck enters New Jersey, Pig Pen, a hog carrying truck that began the convoy as the third truck, has been forced back by people complaining about the smell so far that he's still in Omaha. The song was a huge hit both in the US and the UK, and brought the language and romanticism of the new knights of the road and their CB radios to a whole new level of popularity.

Cashing in on the success of the single came the movie Convoy in 1978. Smokey and the Bandit, Citizens Band and the Chuck Norris movie Breaker! Breaker! had beat them to the punch in 1977, but Convoy had all the main ingredients: trucks, fascist cops, corrupt politicians, hot chicks, and plenty of CB radio action.

It's said that during the making of this movie, director Sam Peckinpah was so out of it on coke and booze that James Coburn, who had been brought in as second unit director, actually directed much of the principal photography while Sam was 'sick' in his trailer.

For all the setbacks that besieged it, Convoy is a much better film than you would expect it to be. Kristofferson is a charming and charismatic image of masculinity as lead trucker Rubber Duck, and Ali McGraw, who previously worked with Peckinpah in The Getaway, looks as stunning and sexy as always, even with a perm. The film's ending is a little contrived and corny, but the ride from the original fight with Ernest Borgnine's Sheriff Wallace, to the Thelma and Louise style leap of faith is well worth jumping aboard for.

Top 10 Things That Weren't Dangerous Then, But Are Now

2008-04-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

10. Lawn Darts and Other Killer Toys

You just can't have a conversation about things that weren't considered dangerous in the 70s without mentioning Lawn Darts. Lawn Darts were mini javelins with wings that you were supposed to throw up in the air and have them land within a certain target area. Problem is, they had a habit of landing on kids instead of lawns. Oddly enough, so did acid rain, and I never saw anyone crying out to ban that 'for the children'.

9. Fast Food

There was once a time when children were taken to McDonald's as a treat. Now it's like a punishment. "Do your homework, Ashley, or I'll make you eat a Double Whopper with Cheese, then berate you for two days until you wallow in a mire of weight issues and turn to bulimia!" Yeah, back then, burgers were a simple pleasure. You even won prizes for knowing the ingredients of a Big Mac and being able to recite them in under 3 seconds. These days, however, you'll be better off spending those 3 seconds thinking about whether any of those ingredients are are genetically modified or destroy the rain forest. Oh, and remember that Super Size Me movie? Yeah, I haven't touched the stuff since, either.

8. Babies in Cars

Before Britney Spears attempted to make it fashionable, there was once a time when kids weren't strapped into cars like a dancer in an Iron Maiden video. They just kinda hung out in the back, or on the passenger seat. There were no child-seat laws, hardly any child-seats to buy anyway, and a lot of parents had pick-ups which didn't even have back seats, so the kids would just hang out on the truck bed, or in the trunk of the station wagon. The back of a car was a play ground for kids. They pinched each other until full blown fist fights broke out, and then whoever was driving, could throw a hand back there and sort it out without even accidentally hitting the accelerator instead of the brake.

Kids of today, many people will tell you great tales of what happened in the back of the car when they grew up, and end those tales with the phrase, "and nothing happened to me, I'm still here!" Well, they're here via a combination of responsible parenting and blind luck, just most kids throughout history. Don't let them fool you into thinking that anything they did was safe, however. It wasn't. But Zowie, Cavey, it was a heck of a lot more fun.

7. Riding Bikes without Helmets

On the one hand it's fun to have the wind in your hair. On the other, it's stupid. Seriously, you could take an eye out with one of those things or something.

6. Chopping Boards

Here's what we know now. "Keep two separate cutting board for vegetables and meat,never cut on the same board to keep E Coli and Salmonella bacterias at bay." - Taken from the Aromahope Blog.

Here's what we knew in 1972. "My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning. My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli ." Taken from a much-bandied about, yet unattributed email that hit the blogosphere back in about 2005. Here's a good version of the whole thing from Agonist.org.

5. Other people Smoking

Believe it or not, the photo above is fairly recent. They just look like they live in the 70s.

Back in the 70s not everybody smoked, but few people believed it was really that harmful to you or to others around you. We smoked in the streets, in the bars and cafes, in the nightclubs, at home in front of the TV, in our offices, in hospital waiting rooms, on planes and trains, in our cars, in other people's cars, in front of our children, in front of other people's children, before, during and after pregnancy... Every-freaking-where. Nowhere was sacred from the dangers of first and second hand smoke. Also, smoking was considered something you enjoyed, rather than something you were simply addicted to. You enjoyed the first cigarette after a meal, and the first one after sex. So much was post-coital smoking popular, that it became code for sex. You'd see two people in a bed, then cut to them smoking with a smile on their face. The 70s was the last decade of guilt-free living for many things, and smoking was arguably one of the guiltiest pleasures of them all.

4. Disturbing Writing/Artwork

I'm not going to comment on this one actually, only to say that the below didn't really happen too much when I was a kid.

Kid suspended from school for DRAWING a gun on paper

http://www.kpho.com/news/13943838/detail.html

Student Suspended For Drawing Gun
5-Day Suspension Cut To 3 Days

POSTED: 3:06 pm PDT August 21, 2007
UPDATED: 8:04 pm PDT August 21, 2007

QUEEN CREEK, Ariz. -- A 13-year-old student who drew a picture of a gun on his homework at Payne Junior High School in Queen Creek was initially suspended for at least five days, but his father was able to slash it to three days.

The Mosteller family moved to Chandler from Colorado Springs only four weeks ago, but it's not the kind of greeting Paula Mosteller said she was expecting.

Her 13-year-old son was suspended from school because he drew a picture of a gun on homework.

"My son is a very good boy," Mosteller said.

"He doesn't get into trouble. There was nothing on the paper that would signify that it was a threat of any form," she said.

The principal at Payne Junior High School kept the actual drawing.

The picture was enough to get him suspended, initially, for five days.

"He was just basically doodling and not thinking a lot about it," Mosteller said.

CBS 5 News tried to get more details from the Chandler Unified School District but were told, "Federal privacy law forbids the school or district from discussing student discipline."

"We're not advocates for guns," Mosteller said.

SURVEY: What Do You Think?

"We don't have guns in our home. We don't promote the use of guns. My son was just basically doodling on a piece of paper," she said.

After the father went to the school and talked to the principal, the suspension was trimmed to three days.

CBS 5 News investigated the rules students must follow while at school. There's nothing in a portion of the student handbook that addresses conduct to indicate the drawing of a weapon poses threat.

There is a rule that says students should not engage in "Threatening an educational institution by interference with or disruption of the school."
Copyright 2007 by KPHO.com. All rights reserved.

3. Tap Water

Back in the 70s, there was one popular make of bottled water, Perrier, and it was fizzy. And that was about it. Somehow, we have been convinced that drinking water out of the tap is badwrongfun, and that luckily, there are countless suppliers of water there to rescue us from the filthy Mexico City style tap water that the UK and the US have suffered for so long, it's enough to give you cholera. According to the chart below, from the National Resources Defense Council, the US alone has gone from drinking roughly 300,000 gallons of bottled water in 1976, to about 3.5 million gallons in 1997. The International Bottled Water Association gives preliminary statistics for 2008 as 9.8 billion gallons.

Gone are the days of heading to the tap to get a glass water, and not minding too much if was a little cloudy, as long as it was cold and wet and didn't send you to the crapper every 20 minutes. Now, in order to avoid crap like the drugs that end up in our water system, for every three swigs of water we take, we pretty much contribute to a landfill somewhere.

2. Losing

No one wants to lose, but everyone knows that losing is an important life lesson. My school system thought they were being smart buy practically eliminating all competitive sport from our schools. There was only one inter-school sport's day during my entire childhood. I was in the 4x100 meter relay, had to run last, came last and lost the race for the whole team. It sucked, and I was probably kicked about for it later, but in the end, at least I had a chance to compete against kids from other schools for one day. It was tres cool.

So it worries me when I read articles like this one, that we are wrapping our children in such a warm blanket that they may grow up looking like sheep by the time we've decided to them go. If they ever go. There are quite a few reports coming out now about the current crop of college graduates hitting the workforce, unable to cope with the basic rigours of life in the corporate climate. It's hot, kids, and you're going to need to drop that blanket or sweat to death.

1. Hairspray

Yep. Hairspray. It used to be pomade, and after that it was mousse and styling fudge, but back in the 70s, if you wanted to look like Charlie's Angels, you needed about one can of Aquanet extra strong per evening. We sprayed in the morning before going to work, in the evening before going to the roller disco, we usually had a can roughly the size of tube of Pringles just sitting in our handbags in case it didn't hold, or there was a sudden rain shower. Whenever we saw woman doing womanly things, which were back then, riding bicycles and swinging their hair and such, we were supposed to ask ourselves, "Is she, or isn't she?" Which was stupid. Everyone was.

So how the hell were we supposed to know that looking like the above, would create the environmental hell we're looking at below? Like I said, the last guilt-free generation.

Cooler in the 70s: Computers

2008-04-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

Imagine a world where the internet belonged only to the military, and the world's fastest supercomputer is six feet high, about 12 feet across, and still 40 times slower than the machine you're using to read this. You're living in the 70s, my friend, where computers were strange devices that only mad scientists and war-hungry generals used. Us lowly peons didn't get to see a computer until about 1978, and then you could barely play Pong on it. Before that, we feared these infernal devices, thinking they would take over the world, like in Colossus: The Forbin Project, rape our women as in Demon Seed, kill all our astronauts like HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey, in Dark Star, they control bombs that refuse to explode. For most of the 70s computers barely touched our lives, we lived in a world of typing pools, carbon copies, and real (as opposed to icons of) filing cabinets. We balanced check books, paid for things in either cash, Diners Club cards, or Green Shield stamps. Whatever we bought had a little sticker on it with the price, and the cashier at the register would check that, type it in and you'd see the price come up spelled out on big bakelite tabs in the register window. If you wanted money, you needed to go to the bank when they were open. If you wanted to call someone, you used a rotary dial phone and if you wanted to send a letter, you had to write it out with a pen and shove a stamp on it. And wait. Sometimes more than two whole days. For a reply. If you were lost, you needed to find a place that sold maps. If you're out somewhere and need to call someone, you'd have to find a phone booth. If you wanted someone to read an article you'd read, you would either handtype it and pay for a printer, and hope you can sell it on the street or at gigs or nightclubs, or you'd need to find an established magazine to publish your thoughts. In the 70s, your only possible ways of talking to the ether to people you've never met and getting some kind of instant reply was crank-calling the operator, or getting a CB radio. Even on radio the signal to noise ratio was about 100:1.

Ah... It was all so much simpler back then before that stupid Cray came out...

;-)

dschinghis khan eurovision

2008-04-04T08:29:00.001-07:00

This was actually submitted to me from someone who watched the other Eurovision entrys below. BTW, submissions are always welcome, along with any other memories these pics and videos jog.

Not much you can really say about this, though. It's a glorious piece of German Eurovision nonsense about Ghengiz Khan, which references a little to Boney M's Rasputin, though it's much more energetic.

As with most 70s Eurovision entries, there's your typical heavy reliance on international sounds that mean nothing, such as Ding a Dong, Sing a Song or in this case, Hoo! Ha! HaHaHaHa! The rest, of course, in German, which to anyone who doesn't speak it is equally meaningless.

Interestingly while all the guys are dressed as Mongols, the girls look like they just walked off the set of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Back then, silver spacesuits were just sexier.

Trippier in the 70s: Charly

2008-04-03T11:22:00.001-07:00

Speaking of British Public Information Films...

We never know his name, but his cat is called Charly. His mother's hair changes color every now and again, and he never really gets to have any actual fun with kids his own age. Or touch a teapot. Or go off with strange men to see their puppies. Shame that.

Years later, his cat is a codeword for cocaine, and Charly's advice will be heard, yet probably not followed, by tripped-out, loved-up, glowstick-waving ravers all over the planet. This is Charly's World, we just live in it.

Scary 1970s British Public Information Films

2008-04-03T10:47:00.001-07:00

Yes. While most Americans have fond memories of the PSA's that were shown on a Saturday morning ("I learned it from YOU, Dad!"), us Brits remember being scared poo-less by our Public Information Films.

Chilling stuff. Enjoy!

Creepier in the 70s: Follyfoot

2008-03-31T15:43:00.001-07:00

If there's one thing the 70s did to me, it's the way the British TV Shows Follyfoot and Black Beauty have warped my mind against upper-middle-class girls who love horses. Take this episode of Follyfoot, for example. The opening titles are meant to be whimsical and perhaps a little haunting, but to me, they're creepy. The horse in the title graphic looks like something Dali would have painted. I'm surprised there isn't a melting clock there and a tree covered in ants. And the opening shot? Honestly, what the hell's going there? It's like that version of Animal Farm we weren't supposed to see. And there's Dora and and the old codger, Slugger, cheerily looking on. [Edit: That video has been removed, so I've switched it out for just the opening titles. Never thought I'd see something too weird for YouTube]

Growing up in a city, where the only live horses we ever saw had coppers on them carrying sticks, Follyfoot was about as far removed from real life as you could get. Probably to my detriment, rather than consider the rural life of hanging round the stables with a cute teen who likes horses as a kind of escapist fantasy world, I saw it as a nightmare vision of dull, drawn-out pain, somewhat akin to having a tooth pulled out by a wire tied to an exceptionally strong, yet still excruciatingly slow, snail. Also, I was the son of a working-class Scottish family, who, previous to moving to London, had been living in trailer parks for the most of the 60s, whereas Dora was the daughter of a diplomat, who complained about not getting a pony for her 10th birthday and getting really expensive dresses instead.

Worth watching this until the end, though, just to discover that it was directed by a guy called Stephen Frears, who is probably best known now for directing The Queen.

Cooler in the 70s: Station Wagons

2008-03-31T14:31:00.000-07:00

Back in the days before people travelled around in off-road vehicles that are too low to go off-roading in, and military vehicles that the military wouldn't touch with a no-bid contract, American moms reached their right hands back to smack their kids in the back seat of station wagons. Station wagons lack many of the features of the SUV and MiniVan we have come to know and love today - the in-car entertainment system was not a multi-disc DVD Player, but an AM radio, with a built-in 8-track player if you're lucky, and the GPS system consisted of a dad who refused to stop to ask for directions. Dual zone air conditioning was provided by allowing the back windows to roll down as well as the front, and unlike an SUV, you could actually see past it if you were backing out of a parking spot next to one.

Unlike an SUV and even some MiniVans, a station wagon was never, ever, cool. But they were incredibly useful hiding up to 8 children if they lay flat in the back. In the UK, we had similar cars that about 2/3 the size and were called Ford Granada Estates.

On of the characteristic features of a station wagon, that for a while held over into the realm of the minivan is wood paneling. Why designers felt that a stretched out version of a sedan needed a fake wooden patch over the side and back, I'll never know, but there it is above on the Chevy Caprice.

And again, below on the Chrysler Town and Country.

The Town and Country, of course, is now a minivan.

Oh, look! A 1978 Dodge Monaco!

The way this one's parked, it looks like they were designed to blend into the suburban environment.

Someone had the audacity to name this one the Plymouth Gran Fury:

And, just for the record, here's the heretoforementioned Ford Granada Estate, from my own personal childhood. I didn't have one, mind, I was running around in a Triumph Dolomite, but back in 70s swinging London, you couldn't spit without hitting one of these.

Uncool in the 70s: German Eurovision Songs

2008-03-28T12:31:00.001-07:00

Because, hey! If the Netherlands can win with a song called Ding Dang Dong, then surely next year Germany can win with their song, Sing Sang Song, right?

Um... No. They came 15th. Out of 18. Poor show, Germany. Poor. Show.

Thin White Duke Learns Karate

2008-03-28T09:52:00.001-07:00

There's something really cute about this clip. Check Bowie's reaction to the karate guy when he fakes punching David in the testicles. Poor Bowie just loses it.

And then there's the

Wait a minute. That's David Bowie! And they're teaching him karate moves! It just doesn't get cooler than that!

Cooler in the 70s: Dutch Eurovision Songs

2008-03-28T09:16:00.001-07:00

Honestly. This could be the greatest Eurovision song of all time. It's bouncy, catchy, is sung in funny foreign accents, and contains such lyrical gems as "Even though your lover is gone, gone, gone; Sing ding dang dong."

Two and a half minutes of carefully crafted meaningless fluff. Of courser, it won the competition. Awesome, awesome, awesome; ding dang dong.

Cooler in the 70s: Minor League Hockey

2008-03-26T23:09:00.003-07:00

Slapshot is one of the unsung heroes of sport movies. Violent, witty, politically aware, and poignant. It barely has a soundtrack, its protagonists are almost devoid of morality, and in the beginning the movie looks like it's devoid of plot and going nowhere. Yet still, in the end, you know you love the Charlestown Chiefs, and feel like a lifelong fan. Maybe it's Paul Newman's leather suits or the Hansen brothers' toys that does it. Either way, I can't believe my mum allowed me to watch this when I was 11.

Cooler in the 70s: Loony Motorcycle Stunt Riders

2008-03-24T13:36:00.001-07:00

In these days of extreme sports, you'd be hard-pressed to find some kid who hasn't ridden something over 16 buses, but back in the day, man... Evel Knievel would do it and everyone would skip school to watch.

Sure, we were watching to see if he crashed, and if he never did, it would be boring. These days we expect our stuntmen to be perfect. 70s stuntmen routinely clipped the last bus or dropped thousands of feet down the Grand Canyon, and we would love them all the more for it. Seriously, this from the tribute article in the New York Times: When he was 27, he became co-owner of a motorcycle shop in Moses Lake, Wash. To attract customers, he announced he would jump his motorcycle 40 feet over parked cars and a box of rattlesnakes and continue on past a mountain lion tethered at the other end. Before 1,000 people, he did the stunt as promised but failed to fly far enough; his bike came down on the rattlesnakes. The audience was in awe.

“Right then,” he said, “I knew I could draw a big crowd by jumping over weird stuff.”

See? His first stunt was techniocally a failure, but we continued not just to watch in awe of him, but also his son, and the amazing regular failures to clear unusual objects performed by the line of Evel Knievel toys, such as the cycle, chopper, skycycle and touring van. Those things were being held together with staples, super-glue and sheer force of will by the end of the first week of ownership, as they were made of 100% pure fail - and yet we loved them. To add insult to injury, if you were to place a Stretch Armstrong or a Steve Austin action figure on the chopper, you'd barely make it off the ramp, yet Imperial Stormtroopers would fly about 40 feet. Say what you want about the Empire, man, they knew how to jump a bike over row of 5 six-year-olds, yessir.

Who Am I?

2008-03-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I'm Lou Fricking Reed.

Outtasight!

Which rad old school 70's glam icon are you? (with pics)

You're Lou Reed.God, you are cool, can I touch you so the magic will rub off?You are perceptive, witty, and badass. You wear cool shades, even at night, and probably wear black more than most people. You don't give a fuck what other people think, but you are also very sensitive in the way that you pick up on things that others don't. Sometimes you come off as an asshole, but that's what makes you cool. You are a poet, and you embody New York City. You will still be hip when you are old, and artists love you.
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On this day in... 1978

2008-03-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

The multi-talented rap artist, actor and back-up dancer Kevin Federline was born. Bringing joy and light to a dark year, the birth of Federline was an undoubted harbinger, signaling the death of all that was uncool in the 70s.

Yes. I'm lying.

Cooler in the 70s: The Early 60s

2008-03-17T10:19:00.001-07:00

Yep, here's something else that was cooler in the 70s. The Early 60s. George Lucas' American Graffiti started it, and movies like The Wanderers carried the torch. Teens cruised for chicks, listened to hand-picked perfect soundtracks, and slicked their hair into DA's with flick-combs while waiting patiently for the hippies to show up. It really wasn't about being oppressed or treated like objects, or hoping war doesn't kick off in Vietnam like movies of the 80s or 90s would us believe. It really was a time of wonder and innocent groping in the back seat of your dad's 'Vette.

Southwest Airlines commercial circa 1972

2008-03-17T03:47:00.001-07:00

Remember what it was like when airlines advertised to rich people with what amounted to "Fly us, get laid"?

Good Lord, woman, I can see your va-jay-jay from here, and I'm 36 years away! Put some trousers on, girl! Oh, but don't shake forget to "shake my martini" first, there's a good lass. I'll make sure to put in a good word for you with our typing pool manager.

The Osmonds (1972) - OPENING

2008-03-17T03:40:00.001-07:00

Because I lied. Not everything was cooler in the 70s. I'll post a top ten "things that weren't cooler about the 70s" later.

2008-03-16T18:56:00.001-07:00

Saw this on a blog post for 1970's New York pictures which is fascinating stuff, and I'll link it up on the right soon. This is a NYC subway train circa 1971, which really goes to show that, even though we now may think they're dirty and hard to sit in comfortably, we forget (or in my case never saw except in movies) just how bad they were. The posters on the end of the car are fairly new, you may notice, and have been plastered up there over the graffiti overlapping itself on the wall. Everything else kinda looks like the monkey cage in a zoo. I think you can still buy those metal straps above the seats from the NYC Transit Museum, though I'd have to soak them in bleach for about a year before I'd want to touch one.

As for the blog this came from (1970's New York), be advised that for those of a more sensitive nature, it contains many pictures of the World Trade Center during and after construction. There's also a photo of Jersey City from the Manhattan side which, as anyone who's lived here longer than I have will remember, contains no skyline.

Barack Obama - 1979

2008-03-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a fun, late disco-era yearbook picture of Illinois Senator and 2008 presidential candidate Barack Obama, taken in 1979. Nice wing collar, nice white suit, nice tight fro.

See? Even future politicians were cooler in 70s.

Focus- Hocus Pocus (live '73)

2008-03-16T10:21:00.001-07:00

Hard to believe these guys are still going considering the amount of energy they put into their performances as far back as 1973. But here they are in their glory. Focus, with the effortless mixture of camp, hard rock and yodeling, with Hocus Pocus.

It's That Shirt

2008-03-15T09:46:00.001-07:00

As a fan of the funky jazz techno group, I was chuffed to find this, the That Shirt commercial from 1971, along with others from that time, as sampled in the Brainwashed This Way/Zombie/That Shirt track from Meat Beat Manifesto. All a little before my time, but they're a good indicator of what my experience of growing up in the 70s was like. Richard Burton growling about shirts, DJ Jimmy Saville telling us to Clunk-Click every trip, and sexy secretaries in round-the-clock tights. And who could resist wearing a tie that comes in both terylene and crimplene?

Ah yes, the brown 70s of my youth. Just wanted to remind you all why I'm more fond of the California truckin' 70s than the real one I actually lived through. Shudder!

70's Toy Commercials

2008-03-15T07:44:00.001-07:00

I have a vague memory of Bing Bang Boing, or something similar from the mid-70s. But seriously, how many of those ball bearings are you going to lose under your leather couch before you give up trying to learn the laws of physics the had way?

That waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sound takes me back some, though. SSP Racers, the closest us 6 year olds would ever get to drag racing, and suddenly the most useless toy when you lose that T-stick.

Can't say much about the slip-n-slide that hasn't been said before. I didn't have one, didn't know anyone who had one, and it would been useless anyway as we all had concrete back yards where I grew up. Looks like fun, though. Anyone who damn near killed themselves on one of things? Feel free to add your comment.

On This Day in... 1975

2008-03-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis, the husband of former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy, dies, aged 69.

Super Hero Shows

2008-03-14T14:26:00.001-07:00

Okay, so we know that cop shows were cooler, with the exception of Hawaii Five-0, which had a great theme tune, but was essentially pants. But something else we had in the 70s was live-action superhero shows. Shows like Wonder Woman, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Incredible Hulk and the short-lived SpiderMan series.

Wonder Woman
I may have been a little young to fully appreciate Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, but I remember being extremely confused by the show. Back then, British television (and US television, to be honest) didn't care much about running episodes in order. The problem was that it was really made up of two shows. The first was set during WW2, and Wonder Woman is fighting Nazis. The second is set in the 70s with Wonder Woman fighting terrorists and sinister rock stars and such. She had an invisible plane, which was technically useless, as it didn't make her invisible. So anyone looking up would see this woman in a spangly costume floating at high speed in a sitting position through the sky. Very silly. Very 70s. It does have the best theme tune of them all, though.

The Six Million Dollar Man
Also known as the Bionic Man. Steve Austin was my favorite, and I spent most of my childhood wishing I could get the action figure, with the bionic eye that you could look through and the arm that would open up to reveal his mechanical arm. It was possible to get the action figure for his boss, Oscar Goldman. But who the fuck would want that? IIRC, in the pilot, Steve Austin, once he gains his new powers, would run really fast, meaning they sped up the film of him running. I guess they realized that eventually he would have to run past something moving or people would catch on, because later in the series they switched to his more signature slow-mo running and jumping ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac moves. You just had to imagine that he was really going fast or jumping that high, or bending those bars. When you got the ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac sound effect for his vision, though, it seemed a little silly. Totally jumped the shark when Bigfoot arrived, but I loved it when I was 6. We won't talk about the Bionic Woman, though - they gave her a Bionic Dog, and that was just stupid.

The Incredible Hulk
Sadder and more introspective than any of the other shows, Hulk wandered the wilderlands of central California doing odd jobs and trying not to get angry.

SpiderMan
This show is the strangest. Most people don't remember that there was a live action Spiderman before the Tobey Maguire version, they just remember the cartoon. In the UK, I even got to see the pilot at the theater, played as a movie. I went with a whole bunch of kids for someone's 6th birthday, and it was on a double-bill, believe it or not, with Breaking Away, which we'll get to later. It was your standard this-looks-stupid-now superhero fare, but it really did look like Spiderman was crawling up those skyscrapers. And that's because he was. Back in 2005, on a trip to California, I took a tandem hang-gliding jump. The crazy old guy who drove us up the mountain I was about to jump off was the guy you see in the Spidey suit climbing up the Empire State Building. Seriously, he did that. Fun Spidey Facts: Kim "Facts of Life" Fields' mom was in it.

TV Supercops

2008-03-04T14:02:00.000-08:00

Everybody know the 70s was the decade when cops didn't play by the rules. They gunned Buick Regals and Ford Gran Torinos down back alleys, treated their captains like short-sighted fools, and banged all the chicks they met. Usually all within act 2.

More than that, though, they had theme songs (opening themes, remember them?). And not just theme songs, damn funky theme songs.

My sister was a huge fan of American cop shows when I was a kid. She loved the sly wit of Telly Savalas as Kojak, gushed a little over Michael Douglas in The Streets of San Francisco, and positively fawned over David Soul in Starsky and Hutch. Sure, she may have bought the Telly Savalas "Who Loves Ya Baby" single, but David Soul convinced her to buy a whole album's worth of his sweet vocals. So I have fond memories of Saturday nights in a maisonette in Primrose Hill, lights off, Mum and Dad out down the pub, and me and my sister in the living room with milk and McVities watching to see what could possibly challenge Starsky and Hutch's not-homoerotic-at-all, purely platonic friendship.

Kojak

The Streets of San Francisco

Starsky and Hutch

On This Day in 1979

2008-03-04T04:56:00.000-08:00

The U.S. Voyager I spaceprobe photos reveal Jupiter's rings.

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

2008-03-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

Watched a 1974 movie called "Thunderbolt and Lightfoot" yesterday, and it inspired me to start this new blog. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot stars Clint Eastwood and a young Jeff Bridges as an ex-bank robber and an over-enthusiastic drifter who wants to help Eastwood do one last job.

I remember this movie as a funny, sexy tale of two guys getting together to rob a bank. Instead it was true 70's movie: An amoral, misogynistic tale, which seethes with hatred for the law and authority, and unabashedly celebrates violent solutions fatalistic . Despite it being nothing like the movie I remembered, I still thought it was brilliant. No surprise that the writer/director Michael Cimino would go on after that to make The Deer Hunter.

Sometimes I think to myself that we simply don't make movies like this anymore, but we do. Only now, it would barely make waves at Sundance these days.

Anyhoo, worth checking out for very early appearances from Gary Busey and Catherine "Daisy Duke" Bach, and the weird people they meet on their travels: an exhibitionist housewife, a biker chick with a hammer and an attitude, a guy with raccoon in his passenger seat and a trunk-full of white rabbits... It takes more odd turns than a CGI car commercial.

Yes, sir. Highly recommended for anyone looking to enter the strange wilderness of American 70's cinema. If only the DVD had a commentary track. I'd love to know what was going through Cimino's mind when he wrote the bunnies in the trunk scene.

Keep on Truckin.